They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
