That's intense
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
