the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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