Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
