You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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