I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
