dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
