so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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