yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
