I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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