so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
