Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
