don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize