So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
