don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
