I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We are all done wearing pants today
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
