things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize