That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
