problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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