We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize