Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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