i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize