If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
