He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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