Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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