haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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