Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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