Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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