Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
