Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
