Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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