I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize