I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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