Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
