sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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