OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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