her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
