Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
