That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
