She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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