Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
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Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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