The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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