I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
