Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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