You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
