she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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