You made me cry and you don't even care
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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