Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
