I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
