My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize