when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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