wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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