I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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