my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
