The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
