One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
