They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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