wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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