Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
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I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
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I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
sex in a hospital.. check
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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