Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize