So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
