The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize