Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
